Our Adoption Story: Part 4

July 16, 2008

July 16, 2008

After such a stress-filled day yesterday, today was so calm. I have felt nothing but excitement all day! Everywhere I go, I imagine my baby. I find myself looking at car seats and thinking about diaper bags again. My mind wanders to what he will look like. I did a little shopping for material to work on his Moses basket today… my mom went with me. We also called my hubby’s parents last night and they were ecstatic. His mom about jumped through the phone. For some reason, announcing it to a select few made it all seem more real!

Being able to talk about it and prepare a little is normal when you are having a baby. So it takes it from being a surreal/foggy experience and makes it more tangible. I still know I am going to be nervous when our birthmom has the baby. For those 24 hours, I will live in fear that she isn’t going to give him to us… but I also know we are supposed to be here now, in this place, and I’m excited!

Our birth mom was going to take her GED test today, so I made up a quick gift basket for her with some of her favorite goodies in it. We had the case workers deliver it to her, and we hope it helps comfort her in preparation for the exam.

My thoughts today are more along the lines of “How do you go wrong?” When you recognize that we are giving this baby so many things he would not get in his birth situation. We are giving him a home, a father, the gospel/priesthood, and the chance to get a great education… so many wonderful things. How do you put a price tag on that? This baby is coming to earth anyway…so why not to our family? We have so much to offer!

I am simply grateful that our birthmom has the courage to place the baby at all. To give him that chance. That she didn’t abort in the beginning of her pregnancy, as her friends had recommended. She had every reason to do that. No money, no job, no husband. She is entirely sacrificing everything for the good of this baby! Out of Louisiana for the first time ever, away from all her family, leaving one child back home while bringing a 13-month old here, leaving that baby in a daycare while she delivers, etc. She even found out that her boyfriend was hitting on other birthmoms in their apartment complex, leaving her for his new girlfriend… all while she is focusing everything on giving this baby a good home. She did not do this for any financial reason…she gets nothing except the knowledge that her baby is with a good family. Its all pretty amazing, when you really think about it. There is a special place in heaven for women who make that kind of sacrifice…

July 17, 2008

Thursday we scheduled a time when we could get together with our birth mom and baby “J” again. We brought along our four girls so she could meet them in person (at Chucky Cheese Pizza, which the girls were equally excited about). Every time we are around our birth mom, we become more and more comfortable and so does she. We talk a lot and find out much more about her… stuff we need to know as we tell our son about her as he grows up.

She seemed to really like the girls hairdo’s as she watched my hubby play with all five girls on the token games… he even gave our birth mom $10 in tokens so she could play. I was able to ask her many more questions about her family, interests, life, the baby’s dad, and the birth plan. She let me and the girls touch her belly, which was the first time I would ever touch my son… I loved it!

Our birth mom is great! I feel her warming up to us and I can see her trying to be so courageous being so far away from home. I am so impressed by her and her strength, her resolve, through this whole experience. I am getting very excited! Here is a shot of the whole group. Isn’t baby “J” so cute!

Here is our birthmom and little “J” together. The cute bump is our baby!!!

July 18, 2008

Today, I was so excited to attend a doctor’s appointment with our birth mom! She asked me to go with her after our meeting. I was running a few minutes behind after getting lost amongst all the medical buildings in the office complex. I was so relieved to see both her and the caseworker still sitting in the waiting room. She seemed so relieved to see me… it was nice! Quite reassuring! I hope she feels that since her mom cannot be here, that I can be like a big sister for her. I am really bonding with her!

I heard the baby’s heart beat! It was at 150! Everything looked great. The baby was head down. Our birth mom was dilated to a 3 and 70% effaced. With that information, she asked if she could go to the hospital now, but the doctor said no… only if she was actually contracting, which she was not. She did test positive for Strep B so the both she and the baby will need antibiotics at birth.

I felt the baby moving in her belly again today. He was really wiggling around! It’s so amazing to witness another woman’s body growing a baby and then to think that this is your baby! To feel another little life moving inside her body and know that it is your son. It’s just surreal.

I was able to ask her if she was excited or nervous. She said she was excited to not be pregnant, because she was getting uncomfortable, but sad about having to say goodbye to us and leave the baby behind. She seems confident that she is going to place the baby, but also sad (it must all seem so unreal to her). She did tell me that she knew that the baby would be very well taken care of in our home with our family. We can only pray that she will make the best decision for the baby even though we know it will be difficult for her in the process.

I also found out today that our birth mom has okayed me being in the delivery room! Wow! I was thrilled and excited to know that I will be able to watch the birth of our baby! She told my hubby he could be in the room as well, through the labor… but out for the actual checking and delivery (of course). He was very happy that she would be willing to share that with him!

July 20, 2008

Well, the weekend actually went faster than I thought it might… all things considered. My hubby and I were able to get a lot done, including finishing the Moses basket and quilt for the baby (thanks mom for the help).

We also cleaned the house, cooked and froze a few meals, mowed the lawn, completed a few house projects, washed laundry, ironed, and all the other normal stuff you want done just before adding a new baby.

Can’t wait for Wednesday! Had another week of completely absent-mindedness in church. The baby is the last thing I think of before falling asleep and the first thing I think of when I wake up!

July 22, 2008

Tuesday night, my hubby asked the Bishop and 1st Counselor (his good friends) to come over and give us both a blessing. The words were very sweet and comforting and I recognized again the importance of the Priesthood and what it can offer in a home. It is neat to know that my son will be able to have that.

I was blessed to continue being a good mother to all five of our children. We were told that this baby was supposed to be a part of our family. That it was designed in the preexistence that we would have him in our home. That he would be taught in our home. My hubby was blessed to be able to provide financially for our family and that the financial sacrifices we made to get him here would be rewarded eternally.

My hubby was told this baby would look up to him and follow his good example. That he would be a righteous young man, serve a mission, marry in the temple, and honor his priesthood. That he had a mission to fulfill on this earth and needed to come to a home with the gospel.

The blessing also mentioned that our birthmom would be watched over and blessed with peace in her decision. That she will feel of the Lord’s comfort and know that she is deeply loved by Him, us, and her son. That our family would become truly “color blind” and we would love him as we love any of our other children.

I can’t remember exactly everything, but those were the general highlights. Anything could go wrong tomorrow, so the blessings were very reassuring to us. To know that he is supposed to be ours. To know that he is our son. To know that he will be coming home with us helped us reassure our faith.

I’m grateful for the gospel in my life and the blessings the priesthood affords both me and my family.

To read more, click Our Adoption Story: Part 5

 

10 thoughts on “Our Adoption Story: Part 4

  1. Bless you all!! I never knew the hardships of adoption, I knew it was tough to be approved but I thought it took a few months, but years…wow!!! My aunt has been fostering a black little girl who is so cute and is 2 years old. She has gone through a lot emotionally and physically. Her mother was a drug addict and her father is abusive. My aunt has given her a great life, she is very attached to my aunt (she has seperation anxiety which is making my aunt want to adopt her very much)she even calls my aunt “mommy”!!!my family members have warned her not to become to attached because the baby is not hers but my aunt is so nice she just cant help it. Your story has motivated me to help my aunt emotionally for any obstacles in the future. Who knows, she may be able to adopt the child (but financially worried) or unfortunately, the baby be taken away…I just want to let you, Mindy, know that reading your story has relieved me and informed me the ups and downs of adoption. Just hold on, Mindy!!! I have watched most of your hair tutorials and love your girls!! Sweet pea reminds me of my aunts foster. I support you !!! Thank you for being such a role model mom. I am 13 and I live in Tucson, where adoption isnt common in my family but we love my aunt and support all of her decisions, even if she does not end up keeping the baby girl. I am coming to an end and I just want to thank you. You dont know me but you have helped my family alot by sharing your view s on adoption. Thank you and goodbye!!

  2. Oh is that what those are called, a Moses basket? Never knew that. I had one for a doll when I was a kid (my mom bought me a ‘real’ one for my doll so I thought it was somehow grown up, lol), maybe one day I’ll have one for an actual baby-I’ve always wanted to adopt a baby too, though I don’t have any children. The quilt is beautiful too, I wish I could make something like that!

  3. So I’m 14 and a few years ago my mom was told she had an aneryurism and my who.e family struggled then my dad gave her a blessing and the next doctor visit she had which was a week later the doctor found tat it was gone! The preisthood is such a blessing the gospel is amazing

  4. Such a beautiful heart warming story I’m 13 and very religious and I love how you just kept going I didn’t know how hard it was. I’ve always wanted to adopt a child when I got older and its so inspiring because it reminds me how blessed my mom was when she had my three brothers and I with only 1 overie its amazing what god can do god bless you and your beautiful family!

  5. It actually dose sound like a book , and you should think about writing . it is very interesting to read about something like this specially if it is based on a true story :)

  6. Oh mindy, this just made me tear up. The blessing you guys got from your bishop just made my wart sing. My husband and I have been trying for 16 months to get pregnant and we have been talking about adoption for a while. I too know that Heavenly Father has a plan for my family and this helped me remember that no matter what happens we are blessed. I am so grateful that my husband holds the priesthood. I haven’t asked him for a blessing in a while and maybe this and a blessing is just something I need right now.

  7. This story really touched me. I’m a teenager and not religious, but this blog has shown me how important religion is and what a big part it can play in your life. Thanks Mindy and husband!

  8. I think you should Make a book, it is a truely beautiful touching story that could really ease the minds of adopting parents in the future.

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What do you get when you cross 34 yrs of living, 14 yrs of marriage, one HOT husband, five adorable daughters, one handsome son, and tons of great family and friends? Pretty much the sum total of who I am!!



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