May 24, 2014

Dealing with Divorce | Mom Minute

Todays #MomMinute topic is about dealing with divorce. While it hasn’t shown up often in my life, we do have a few cases of close family members or friends who have gone through a divorce.Dealing with DivorceToday’s question comes from Olivia who asks, “My parents just got divorced, and do not get along. I feel like they are making me pick sides. I do not want to lose either of them. What do I do?

Dealing with DivorceI believe that in some cases divorce may be merited {such a physical, mental, and sexual abuse}, and in others it may not be {infidelity, mid-life crisis, pure selfishness, etc}. Every situation is different, and we really shouldn’t judge because not only is it wrong to do, but we may only know a sliver of what has really happened.

What I do know, is that in many cases the children are indirect victims who often impose the blame on themselves. This is where the heartache comes in for me. Worse yet, are situations where the parents politic the children to choose sides, which is such an unfair situation to place them in.

My counsel to anyone in this situation is to be honest with your parents about how you feel.

Many of you do not know this, but Shaun’s parents divorced just a few years ago. The kids were all grown, which certainly made it easier, but the process was still a little hard on them. Fortunately, the divorce is fairly amicable which took a lot of dedication from both parents. Shaun’s advice to both parents while they were going through the divorce process was, “It’s more important to do what’s right, than to be right.

{That’s actually advice we should all take and live by on a daily basis, eh?}

Along with being honest with your parents, etc, something I neglected to state in the video is to find someone else you can confide in. Whether it be a counselor, teacher, priest, extended family member, or a friend, find someone who can let you vent, cry, laugh, and love. Going through a divorce as a child is something very difficult to manage alone, and reaching out to a 3rd-party loved one may just give you the extra strength you need.

What I can say is that your parents love you dearly! They’re simply are at a point in their lives where they need to take a step back and identify who they are.

Keep your head up, try love them a little more, and honestly let them know that your relationship with them now no longer includes the other parent. If you tell them that lovingly, they should quickly understand and do their best to respect your wish.

What I hope you always remember though, is that you are NEVER alone! There are more people who love you than you likely recognize. I heard a quote once that testifies of that, saying “God works approximately 10,000 miracles in our daily lives… however we only recognize about three of them.

For any of our readers who have gone through divorce, what advice to you have for Olivia for how you were best able manage and overcome that process? Please free to leave your comments below…

Happy Parenting!