Single Parenting | A Time to Give

November 03, 2011

Many of you know that I don’t often talk too much about my personal life on here, since this is a hair website after all. That being said, from time to time I get the itch to share a little more and today is one of those days, so I’m going to get personal for a brief minute…

Last week my hubby was out of town on business, leaving me home flying solo with all six kiddos {actually, six children + one teenage nephew who is living with us}. Those who know our family can certainly vouch that life is always crazy {read: insane} at our house when my hubby is gone! The evening carpools he normally helps with land squarely in my lap. The adult talk I enjoy after a long day of kiddie conversations is… gone. The bedtime routines become longer since he mostly manages that, and the homework he normally helps with is fully mine to do after a long day’s activities.

I had been struggling for three days at that point to keep the weekly “logistics” schedule going without incident, and had very little time to myself to do pretty much anything I wanted to do or to even relax.  There just wasn’t time.

When last Wednesday rolled around, in the midst of single parenting, I was patiently waiting in my car for my twins to come out of their dancing lessons while simultaneously trying to keep my “littles” entertained. {It was a carpool I don’t normally drive since my hubby picks them up on his way home from work.} I’d been sitting in the car for an hour because the traffic is so bad {thank you UT freeway construction} that it did not make sense to go home just to turn around and come back, although we only live 5 minutes away. That’s when I received one of the worst phone calls of my life. It went something like this…

Officer: “Is this Mindy?”

Me: “Yes.”

Officer: “This is Officer ______. I received a complaint today from one of your neighbors about your son _____. Your neighbor claims that he was left outside for too long unsupervised, was playing in the road, and didn’t have any shoes on.”

{I couldn’t remember the policeman’s name because I was still processing the title “Officer”, wondering if my hubby was kidnapped or killed in Mexico City, and trying to process the instant shock of his statements.}

Me: “What?” {Creative response, huh?}

Officer: “Was your son outside today? Was he unsupervised?”

Me: “Yes my son was playing outside today, in the front yard with a neighbor boy for a little while. But both of us moms were checking in on them often and every time I saw him he wasn’t anywhere near the road.” {I live in a cul-de-sac with nine houses, so there isn’t any through traffic}

Officer: “Did he have shoes on?”

Me: {with a now shaky voice} “Honestly probably not… my son has a sensory disorder from birth, so he cannot stand to have anything covering his hands or feet. We put shoes and socks on him every day, but by mid morning they are always off and lost. Pardon my ignorance… but I wasn’t aware that there was an ordinance or law about children wearing shoes outside.”

Officer: “No, but your neighbor was obviously worried about his feet being cold. It is a chilly day… I mean I even have a jacket on today.”

Me: {Still confused and trying to process the situation, knowing that one of my neighbors is essentially indicating that I am an unfit mother, I became quite unsettled.}“I dressed my son for the weather. Did my neighbor tell you my son had on a long sleeve shirt, a sweater, and long pants? It is a Fall day… but he was dressed for it.”

Officer: “Look Mindy, I’m not saying you are not a good parent {although that is exactly what the whole neighbor/police situation seemed to indicate}, and I’m not here to tell you how to parent. I’m just here to inform you that we received a complaint, and that if we get another one… we will have to open a case with Child Protective Services.”

Me: {Completely stunned, emotional, and with nothing better to say} “OK… thanks.”

After I hung up the phone, I then proceeded to spend the next two hours bawling my eyes out, reviewing the timeline to see how this could have happened. I mean, who could possibly think I was an neglectful mom???? Are you kidding me? Involving the police, who was just doing his job, or Child Protective Services is targeted for people who beat or verbally abuse their children, sexually molest them, chain them up in the basement, and starve them. I mean, calling the police because my son was playing outside on an early Fall day with no shoes on??? Any mom will tell you that this is very NORMAL behavior for a 3-year old.  My children are loved, clean, well fed, cute hair, taught, involved, well adjusted, respectful, and, of course, bicker at each other like most other sibling sets.

I have my own insecurities about being a wife and mother, but I have never been neglectful or abusive. We have adopted twice… most recently finalized with our last daughter two months ago. Everyone knows that the adoption process includes State and Federal background checks, including social workers strictly analyzing our parental, personal, financial, spiritual, and emotional history.

I called my hubby to let him know what happened, only to learn that he was very sick in Mexico. Poor guy, and there was absolutely nothing much he could do to console me from there. Needless to say, that day wasn’t a highlight of my life!

We all know a single parent, and perhaps many of you are single parents. {I know we have hit a striking chord with many single dads out there with our Daddy ‘Do hairstyles, because they have written in the most wonderful and thankful emails along with beautiful photo recreations of our styles.} My older sister was a single parent for several years, as were/are a few of my best friends. Our two birthmothers were single moms, both struggling severely to rise up above the stereotypes and be able to provide a better future for their other children. Our last birthmother is currently doing all she can to finish her college degree, which we admire greatly.

Being a single parent is tough work, as my week proved to me.  I marvel at those who have the courage to maintain their lives and better their personal situation, as well as those of their children, without the help {for all their various reasons} of a significant other. I don’t know that I could do it.

Just last Friday, while still in single-parent mode, I attended a Mommy Blogger conference, which was organized by LDS Philanthropies. I was so excited to meet other moms like me, who share their passions and humor online! They are a unique type of women, with extensive reach, and definitely have a special knack for sharing life-learned lessons.

LDS Mommy Bloggers

It was not only a delightful afternoon {I laughed till my cheeks hurt, getting to meet these wonderful women}, but a very uplifting one as well.

LDS Mommy Bloggers

You see, LDS Philanthropies brought us mommy bloggers together to ask for our help. Its mission is to look for worthy causes and then support them by organizing fundraisers where 100% of the proceeds serve that cause. Just last year, it worked to provide assistance after the earthquake in Haiti.

As a new initiative for November 2011, the organizer talked of a scholarship program for single parents in conjunction with LDS Business College {LDSBC, click to read more about the program}.

The organizer then introduced us to Megan, a very sweet single mother. It was truly inspiring to hear Megan’s story, as she shared her journey and struggles in trying to provide financially for her daughter, while going to school to make her long-term future better. See Megan’s story below:

 

As I sat there listening to Megan speak, it occurred to me that my pity party feelings since that Wed’s phone call really took me fully out of perspective. I mean, I’m lucky enough to have a college degree, stay home with my kids, have a good husband who helps in the home, and the ability to provide for our family.

Many single parents like Megan struggle every day to get to a place that I totally have taken for granted.   To hear her state at the end, about what she would say to those anonymous donors who helped fund her tuition… it was so sweet and emotional, and more than a little humbling for me.  I want to help others like Megan!

Did you know???

  • 28% of children now live with just one parent.
  • 40% of children under 18 experience a parental breakup.
  • 90% of single parent families are headed by females.
  • Single moms with children have the highest poverty rates.
  • 60% of children living in mother-only families are impoverished.
  • Single moms are more likely to be poor because of lower earning capacity.
  • Single moms median income is only about 25% what a married couple make.

Those are some crazy statistics? Very sad stats, actually.

When we asked the program organizer about the goal of the scholarship program, they asked if we could gather $7,200 collectively, since that would be the cost of funding a full 2-year scholarship for one single parent. The college is currently aware of 45 single parents in need.  Yes, $7200 will change one of those single parent’s lives FOREVER!  This reminds me so much of the story below, and I know you have all heard it…

 

So I’m happy to announce that for November we are joining the ranks of a lot of other mommy bloggers who are trying to raise scholarships for single parents like Megan. With this being Thanksgiving month, isn’t this a great way to show our support and love for these amazing people?

I, for one, know of the power of moms and daughters and their networks as we watched our fanbase explode the voting for CuteGirlsHairstyles in YouTube’s May 2011 “On the Rise” contest. I am hoping that CGH and our readers alone are generous enough to donate $7,200 {if not more} so that we can say that we collectively sponsored a single mom in bettering her future, as well as those of their children. Will you help me?

You’ll notice I’ve added a new widget to my sidebar {and in this post} where you can securely donate. I have donated personally, as have my parents, and many siblings and friends. If you have ever enjoyed one of our hairstyles, please donate what you can.  Even $1 will make a difference. Then, if you were touched by Megan’s story as I was, feel free to spread the word. You can grab the widget and share it with your own followers and fans, or simply hit the “share” button.

Let’s help give these wonderful, single parents the chance to create a better future for their families. Although we may not be able to help all single parents worldwide, you will most certainly be helping at least one!

Happy Hairdoing!

* Note from Mindy: Don’t forget to follow us on BlogLovin, a new easy-to-use blog reader!

40 thoughts on “Single Parenting | A Time to Give

  1. Boy have I been there….. I’m not really sure how I found this article on ur “incident” but let me just say, IVE BEEN THERE! What’s mind boggling is that the person making the claim, which I pretty much narrowed down the t)$@ we’ve come across that simply don’t like us bc *gasp* MY HUSBANDS A COP AND PEOPLE JUST WANT TO BE MEAN, HURTFUL, AND PASS THE BLAME TO US; and of course there’s no basis! They still had to send someone over and although we had nothing to hide and allowed my daughter, then 4, to be interviewed as well as my husband and me. Did I mention I was 5 mths healthy and pregant but accused by a “person who was obviously not in shape” as being anorexic and neglectful to my I unborn child…. Yes that’s a true story and what Ms. 350 scolded me, a mere 145 lb But HEALTHY AND PREGNANT WITH A THRIVING BABY! Anyways we didn’t realize how manipulative “cph people” can be asking things that are and can be obviously manipulated,” Does mommy leave u alone…” uh yes I let her play supervised but watching from afar so she grows feeling independent and confident playing “alone”. Gosh the list goes on but what’s sad is that we as moms are hard enough on ourselves but then to be accused or neglect to be implied bc someone, in my situation, got arrested by my hubby….. With out just cause or basis for Any One TO JUST DO THEIR JOB AND ACCUSE US OF SOMETHING IS HORRIBLE! Especially since there are numerous legit abused kiddos who aren’t being helped. Something in the system needs to change and Hun honestly: Hate and jealously loves miserable company so all we can do is pray for strength and that the system won’t fail us again! I just thought I’d share my story with u bc well I KNOW THE PAIN AND HURT AND CONFUSION U WENT THROUGH! Godspeed and just know u have a lot of fans and strangers that see the love effectuated from y’all and it’s immense! Thank u for teaching us ur brilliant talent and I look fwd to hearing from ya….. Carry on and keep doing what y’all do BC ITS AWESOME!!!
    Ps I’m not an avid Facebook, or twitter or anything internet savvy or frequenter….. Y’all are about it so honestly THATS A HUGE COMPLIMENT!!!!!!!
    Hugs from Texas,
    DeniseMomof6

  2. I stumbled upon you blog today. I wanted to say I appreciate your post on being a single mom. I am a single mom of four and end almost everyday guilty and exhausted. It really is nice to know that some respect the job we do and even though the odds are stacked against us, we keep on for the love of our children.

  3. Your neighbor is crazy. Who said she was the shoe police? What if he/she had a 3 year old and couldn’t keep his shoes on? He/she just has WAY too much free time on their hands. Just ignore it. I’ve been in worse situations, but still, being told your a bad parent, is still rude. Of course I wouldn’t know that. I’m only 12. My parents are getting divorced on July 25, 2012. They have been separated since December 1, 2011. My dad went with his first wife. My mom is his third wife. Me and my mom are poor. My brother is all of a sudden obsessed with his Xbox. He only keeps track of how many kills he gets in his game. Mindy, if you can please email some information about scholarships for college for single moms, I could show my mom and then she could get a better education. I was just like your family once Mindy, until my grandma and aunt showed my dad his first wife’s phone number. So anyway, can you please email me some info on the scholarships for college for single moms? My mom can’t pay for college. :(

  4. your neightboor is a freak! your husband is back from mexico city now? be careful, im from mexico, i live there, and its really dangerous right now,im a girl who has 11 years old. i live in monterrey, and people are killing people, kidnapping,stoling,they hang peoples heads everywhere… i have a friend whos dad was killed by those people, they are called narcos. im not very proud of this… but, im proud im mexican, even though theres insecurity, im proud im mexican. and anyway, your neightboards are just jealous of the lovely and beatiful family you are.

  5. Wow, this sounds exactly like something that happened to my neighbor a few years ago. I bet you anything that the person who made the call is jealous of you and your beautiful family and did it out of spite. Unfortunately some people are like that :( I can understand how upsetting that would be, sorry that it happened to you!

  6. I stumbled upon you blog today. I wanted to say I appreciate your post on being a single mom. I am a single mom of four and end almost everyday guilty and exhausted. It really is nice to know that some respect the job we do and even though the odds are stacked against us, we keep on for the love of our children.

  7. PS. I thought she was inside while I was busy nursing the baby but no she had been outside for at least 15 minutes before I found her, I find it funny now but not then.

  8. Aww, that’s too bad that happened. It drives me nuts that people do things like that, seriously, why didn’t they just talk to you. When my 2nd oldest daughter was 3 she was outside in her swimsuit with no boots riding her trike in the dead of winter and we live in Canada. I was chasing after her with a jacket, snow pants and snow boots. It’s just what kids do, luckily, I had an understanding neighbor who found the humor in it. Pray that your neighbor will be a little more understanding.

  9. Your neighbor is crazy! Maybe he’s jealous that your kids are cuter and better behaved that his. Haha. Plenty of children play in my neighborhood unsupervised and poorly dressed. They also run through the streets without looking.
    My next door neighbor is really psycho- she’s constantly calling the police because our tree blocks the sunlight in the corner of her side yard. So, don’t beat yourself up! People are just getting more and more insane.

  10. Hi as crazy as your story sounds the same thing happened to me about 5 years ago. My daughter was two and my boys wanted to stop at the playground after pre-k. She like most kids wanted to play in the sand with her shoes off. I let her what harm could come of it on a 67 degree day in Oct. All the kids had pants long sleeve shirts shoes socks no coats. Someone at this park had his child in a hat coat scarf and wintered out decided that this made me a bad parent called the cops who were not as nice and called cps. I did everything cps asked of me, which was far more than I ever could have dreamed. From going to the boys schools, doctors, and into my home rumageing through all their things and mine. I saw no reason not to comply and show that I was more than a fit parent. TO MY SHOCK AFTER THIS I HAD A FOUNDED CASE OF ENDANGERMENT FOR NO SHOES OR COAT. Even though she had these things just not on at that moment.
    You can never fully feel safe with the government, this stays on my record until she is 21.

  11. i love that you posted this wonderful opportunity to help single mothers. Reading about it and watching the video about Megan made me cry. This hits so close to home for me as my mom became a single mom two years ago, my cousin is a recent single mom of 4, and my aunt now of 2 kids. Fortunately, my mom and cousin are doing well, but I think things are tough financially for my aunt. There are so many single moms out there who need help. I’m excited to post about this on my blog and think it is so amazing that LDS Philanthropies contacted you and other bloggers about this. What a great way to get the word out and to raise money. I don’t have much to give, but I will give what I can.

  12. Dear Mindy,

    Bake cookies for ALL NINE neighbors and take sweet notes of thanks to ALL 9 neighbors and bring the entire family. Sounds crazy, eh? Worked for me.

    Your neighbor is lucky not to know our 4 boys who have watered a tree or two!

    Happy Giving!

  13. My son is two years old today. Yesterday I went and bought him his second pair of shoes. He will not wear shoes or socks. I no longer even try and put them on. I talked to my doctor and he said that he only needed shoes to keep his feet protected in the summer from the hot ground. I get looks daily from people when I go out in public. But by the time we leave the car he already has them off so why bother. I think your neighbor should have called you before the police, that is a little crazy. I do agree that your child is a little to young to be outside by himself without supervision. Two kids in my neighborhood have recently been hit by cars, one fataly. They are to little and might wander away. Not to mention I am way to freaked out over kidnappers. I do think you are a great mom and you can tell that when you see your kids. Thanks for all the awesome hair styles!!

  14. Dear Mindy ~
    Sorry to hear about your terrible day! I have also had an unfortunate visit from the police and CPS due to a nosey neighbor! I was also targeted during a “single parent” moment in my life. My husband is a 21 year retired veteran of the US Navy and he was on a 6 month deployment at the time. At that time my sons were ages 5,6, and 7, and they were quite the typical, energetic boys.When they would come in from playing outside, they would take turns locking each other out. Whichever the one being locked out would bang on the door yelling, “let me in” The police and CPS were told that I was locking them out of the house and also that they were not being fed. The police and shore patrol paid their visit to my home (military housing) at 1:30 in the morning. They came in and checked my house, refrigerator and then checked on my children who were sleeping. CPS showed up two days later and said that they were there because they had received a report but that they saw nothing wrong. So the report was dismissed. I was later told by another neighbor which neighbor this had been that made this false accusation against me. My sons used to play with this neighbors son and she said she didn’t like how when she gave her children treats in front of mine, my children would ask if they could have one as well. She obviously took it as they were not fed rather than kids are kids and they want what the other has.Some people should not be parents if they dont understand children!
    It’s sad that people can actually take the time to pick up a phone and use their voice to cause so much commotion and fear to a persons life because they feel something must be wrong when they see something they dont agree with or they dont like, instead of having a heart and using their voice to walk across a street or a lawn and ask their neighbor if they need a hand with something. I don’t at all believe that concern for your child is what prompted your neighbor to call the police but pure maliciousness. What’s worse is that there really are children out there being abused and or neglected and spiteful people like your neighbor (and my old neighbor) tie up social workers and police that could really be helping a child in need! If you have enough guts to call and report someone and possibly get them in trouble then you should be gutsy enough to walk over to your neighbors and say “hey, this is what I saw and it concerned me.”
    Keep your head up Mindy and don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself or take away your peace of mind!

  15. While I agree calling the police or CPS over a child not wearing shoes (unless it is super cold out) is ridiculous. Maybe it was more the fact that he, at only three years old was outside in the front of the house near the street alone. We live on a quiet dead end but still get the occasional person who makes a wrong turn or for some reason or another ventures down our block. I have to say I never considered ever letting my kids play out front at the age of 3 or 4. Backyard, definitely but never in the front unless there was an adult out there with them or unless your front yard is fenced in, I am assuming its not.
    That being said, I also don’t think I would all the cops or CPS on this situation and as a foster mom I am a mandated reporter. Maybe she really felt he was in possible danger and didn’t want to approach you for fear of putting a wedge between your household and hers???? Again I think it was extreme but I would not be comfortable with the whole playing out front alone at that age.

  16. Single mums can get themselves out of poverty; it just takes an enormous amount of work. I know this because I was one. I put myself through university (earned a scholarship and entry to an honours club), worked 20 hours a week and looked after my daughter. My folks helped with babysitting and the Australian government is very generous with day care support too. But the rewards are worth it, I’m married now with two kids, a devoted husband, big house in the country and my university degree. I’ll never forget where I was and how hard things were and just how sweet they are now.

  17. Hi Mindy,
    I am 13 years old from England and I love your hairdo’s!!! Every time its a special occasion and we need a hairstyle for my little sister, its whoosh, on the computer and cute girls hairstyles it is!! I just wanted to say that sorry you had a bad time. I hope its all better now… :)

  18. I feel so bad that you had to go through that. As a mother we try our best and when someone even hints that we are not doing a good enough job it just tears our heart out. You must have been so scared I know I would have been. Just keep being the amazing mother you are and they will realize that they are wasting there time. It is pretty bad though when they let some children get abused on a daily basis but they get involved when there is a child outside with no shoes on. What is this world coming to. Keep your head up cause your fans think you are an amazing mom!!! Keep up the good work and keep them amazing hairstyles coming!!!

  19. I haven’t read all your comments, but I’m sure they will be the same as what I have to say… I can’t believe you neighbor called the police! Do you know how many times we’ve grounded my son for not wearing shoes outside! Despite the fact that he’s sliced his foot open and wore holes in every single pair of socks, he still runs outside without shoes! Literally almost daily.. no matter what the temperature is. Plus, kids don’t need to be watched 24/7. Thanks for sharing though, and I totally back you up on this!

  20. As another mom of a non-neurotypical kid, I’d suggest getting documentation of your son’s sensory processing disorder from your pediatrician or specialist and keep that on hand. Having the paperwork for my daughter’s diagnoses (bipolar and ODD) has been SO helpful especially with CPS workers who are used to parents who make excuses to cover their horrible behavior. Last year my daughter bit herself up really bad and had bruises up and down her arms and she told a teacher I did it because she had wet the bed. CPS was at my house so fast. Without that paperwork she would have been in foster care immediately and I would have had to fight to get her back while they investigated. Instead I had the papers on hand, they followed up with her doctors to confirm it, and it was all taken care of before she was out of school for the day.

  21. Mindy,
    I really enjoyed reading your post. I am grateful that someone speaking out to single parents and realizing how hard it is every day. I am divorce and been a single mom since my daughter was only 2mos old. She’s 8 years old now and I’m such a proud mom! When she was 3 years old I made the decision to go back to school for massage therapy. Been a massage therapist for 4 years now and the way the government is these days people are losing their jobs left and right and are struggling billing their bills so they can’t afford to get massages. Which makes work for me very slow. I do photography as a hobby and decides to try to get some income that way and have so far done a few. I do what I can to bring in money. Times are hard and we are having to live with my parents and being a 31 year old mom living at home is embarrassing and very stressful. If I didn’t have my parents it would be much harder and I think about “what if” all the time. Leaving with parents doesn’t make it where I always have a sitter. My mom lives at one of my sister’s house during the week so my sister can work. Last year my nephew was born 3 mos early weighing only 1 lb.9 oz. He is a regular short 18mos now but is still unable to be place in a daycare. So all the patently does all on me and if I need someone to do me a favor so I can work I don’t really have anyone who can. I’m the one who everyone comes to asking for favors instead . My other sister and her family of 4 just moved in because they lost their house. So instead of just having my daughter I also have my 6 year old nephew and 2 year old niece. (terrible 2’s) My sister and her husband works and with work being slow I find myself the babysitter for everyone. Some times I need a break and a social life so maybe I will not be songle for the rest of my life but social life isn’t part of my vocabulary . My siblings who are married with kids has more of a socal life than I do. I have no one to return the favor and keep my daughter for me to get away. I miss having adult conversations and the feeling of coming home to someone. I have never had someone to help me parent and make decisions. I go to parent conferences alone along with every other school function . It would be nice to have a partner to help and not having to feel quilty asking for help with certain things. I schedule work and my life around my daughter so I can not have to depend on people…which they are busy with their lives anyway. Thank you for the acknowledgments. Sorry some times I have to vent to strangers. :)

    I love your hair styles and it makes it easier to get my daughter cute for school in the morning!

  22. in california, i’m not sure if this is a federal law but it might be, a parent can be investigated by CPS/CWS for not having their children in school. since going to school is mandatory, the child’s absence reads as neglect on the parent’s behalf. or in some cases, lack of nutritional food is also neglect (i.e. only feeding children fast-food or junk food)

    I bring this up, because your examples for CPS were rather extreme. yes, these situations do happen, but there are also other, less shocking situations occurring that still negatively affect children. And I just wanted to add that on inform you and your readers about that. (oh and CPS is geared towards children and families)

    also, unless your husband is a politician or involved with drugs or crime somehow (which I doubt) he and you don’t have anything to worry about regarding him being in Mexico. And I say this as a mexican living on the CA/Mexico border. don’t believe all the media attn thrown towards MX. yes, drug cartels are bad and do bad things, but only to those that cross them in someway. and I hope your husband gets better soon.

    oooh! and you mentioned a third birthmother, does that mean (and i’m totally prying here) that there will soon be an 8th child in your household?!?! :) or is your nephew the third birthmother’s child? (are u adopting your nephew?)

    and I love your blog! lol… I had to add that in, everything else I wrote was kind of pushy and that’s not my intention at all.

  23. I am so sorry about your day. I also have a three year old and have found it nearly impossible to keep shoes on him. I think your neighbor has way too much time on her hands. Also who put her in charge of being the shoe officer?

    Thanks for your amazing hair styles. It has been so fun to do my girls hair in the mornings.

  24. Hang in there Mindy, many of these ladies have no idea of how the system works. I would suggest going in and making a personal visit to the Social Services department. Let them meet you and get to know you. They understand mistakes are made but have No idea unless otherwise led, that there isn’t a problem. There are all sorts of people out there that have grudges and throw darts and some in unexcused places. But the truth is these “abused” services are meant to Help children. And each one needs to be treated as “possible” to ensure that the Children we all love and would “challenge any threat” are safe. Many people Don’t act and that is where many sad stories start.
    That being said, I’m grateful that you are helping shed light on a scarey situation that can happen to Any of “US” (ladies) unprepared for life’s choices and what they may lead too. I’ve chosen to also empower my daughter’s and any girls that choose to listen. So they may know why education is important and Not choosing to be only “male” dependent. Let me clarify, “male” dependent is depending on the male to be the only productive forward motion in the “family” environment. A woman is part of the partnership. And being such she needs to continually “better” herself with 7 healthy habits (yes from the book). This keeps a balance in not only her life but those of her children. Teaching our children young this balancing act, I believe will help slow down the crazy roller coaster that marriage longevity has now become. Many of Us, untaught to protect and empower ourselves have had the nasty “smack” of reality to waking up to the fact that “Prince Charming” is rare; and don’t know where to go from there when Your so-called-Prince leaves on whatever train was his.
    I am glad to support you and those that are going in this direction of empowering our daughters.
    Hugs and Peace for your Heart,
    Carolyn

  25. I love ur personal stories! My daughter gets nursemaids elbows and we’ve had to take her to the hospital about 4 or 5 times. My husband always gets so worried that the drs will call cps :o( its so scary.

  26. I have two adopted kids, then was blessed with two healthy pregnancies after age 40! I was a single mother with my first 2 for almost 6 years, and had Child Protective Services called twice. Both were determined to be unfounded. I too “bawled my eyes out”, but my loving sister reminded me that for each ‘false alarm’ there are other children being saved. It helped a little. Mindy, hang in there. I would venture to say that a good number of your followers pray for your family, you’ve become like a member of ours! So sit back, feel the arms of a loving Father in Heaven around you, and know that you’re doing just fine. And let that little guy enjoy the feel of grass and leaves on his toes, he’ll grow up soon enough.

  27. i am so sorry mindy. we have had the same issues with the cps. unfort it was awfull for ua. Your children are beautiful. you are an amazing parent, they other neighbor is prob jealous lol. thank you so much for all you do, blogging and writing about adoption, you cant know how much it has helped me heal as we gave our daughters up for adoption 2 years ago.

  28. So sorry you had to deal with such an unfortunate situation. As moms, one of the greatest harms we do to each other is to judge each other’s parenting skills. We are all slightly (or a lot more than slightly) insecure in our mommying roles, among other things. Building each other up and offering assistance when we think another mom is struggling is always a better choice than calling the police!!!

    I hope you don’t mind my saying this but even when you are shouldering the parenting duties without your husband, you are not acting a single parent. My husband is on his second of what will likely be four year long employment contracts in Afghanistan. We have four children, two with autism. Someone once said to me something about the ‘single parenting’ aspect of our lifestyle. I thought long and hard about that. Single parents don’t typically have financial support to allow them to stay home with their children full time and live a very comfortable lifestyle. More importantly, single parents don’t have the emotional and moral support of a spouse, even via email or a phone call. They don’t typically have an end date to their trials as a single parent either, something that keeps me sane many, many days. While I certainly can appreciate the burdens of caring for children without the physical presence of a spouse, single parenting is a whole different lifestyle than yours, or mine.

    Love your blog, your pins and your charm! Keep the uplifting posts and great hairstyles coming, please!!!

  29. Shame on whoever that was–how ridiculous. What a lovely post. Being a single mom of 5 myself, this program means a lot to me. There was nothing like this back in my day. It’s incredible. Thanks!

  30. Dear Mindy
    Cheer up! its just a hickupp! as a married wife that often acts as a single mother (my poor hubby works a ton) its very difficult. with everything you were juggling the last thing you needed was a “worried neighbor” to add to your already busy life. i leave you with this. Be Happy. Proverbs 15:15.

  31. So sad that someone could risk someone else’s ability to adopt in the future because their child is being a typical 3 year old. I also have a couple of children with sensory issues and we spend a good 30 min in the morning coaxing on the shoes, usually with tears involved. And besides, that’s how kids learn. If it’s cold and they took their shoes off, won’t they eventually decide they should keep them on? Or in my case, decide that they would rather their feet be uncomfortably cold than wear shoes, I hate them too!

    Your website is great and so are your personal comments. Parents are up against more than enough already when there are two of them, are financially secure, etc. It’s so awesome that you’re turning a bad thing into a good thing by helping single parents who have more than twice the struggles.

  32. Sending lots of hugs your way! But what a great mission you are setting out to accomplish- just a small group of women in my community recently set out on their own cause and made a big difference in the lives of others. I know you can too! Check their story out at http://makeitformaggie.com/?page_id=101
    We women, actually all people, can do great things!

  33. Touching story. I recently met a single mother with three children, one of them being a nine month old, no income, and living in low-income housing. She was never married, and she is still trying to get financial aid. I went to pick her up to bring her to our church, as this is our new routine to help her out a bit, and she said this week she couldn’t, as her mother was coming by and she said she had bad news. I still haven’t gotten a chance to talk to her. I am possibly going to babysit for her in a few days, so she can try to go to a job interview. People really are in tough times. Our church is going to try to do a outreach ministry with them, but it is really tough. My hubby is actually gone until tonight! Sorry you had to go through that, everyone has ‘those kind of neighbors ; )’

  34. Hey Mindy,
    I really love your blog and still think that your hairstyles are one of the best found anywhere on the net. Yet I do enjoy your “personal posts” a lot, as well. Not being a mum myself, of course, it is not as easy for me to relate to what you’ve written, but as for your neighbor – just don’t mind him. There will always be people who are too bored with their lives and who will take any chance they get to cause trouble for others (just for the greater good, of course). But it’s not their opinion which counts but the opinion of people who know you or get to know you. And as for the LDS donation story, I understand why you would advertise it, but please do not do it too often, there are just too many good causes out there. I am looking forward to your next hairstyle!

  35. Oh my goodness… I guess I need to be investigated… often in the winter my older boys are outside in t-shirts! Boys will be boys! So sorry that your neighbor must be a little jealous of your amazing blessings!!! PS I am a little bit of a lurker… I love your blog! We adopted through Heart 2 Heart and are waiting for another precious little angel!

  36. So sorry you had to deal with that. My hubby just got back after leaving me for 2 and a half weeks. I had a new respect for single parents after that for sure!! Although I don’t know you personally, I can tell that you are a loving wonderful mother who cares so deeply for children you’ve opened your home to children that you didn’t give birth to. All of your children are lucky to have you as a mom. I hope you don’t lose sleep trying to figure out what neighbor has it out for you. Sheesh what’s up with people??

  37. Crazy that the call you for no shoes (my 3 y/o boy won’t keep shoes on either) and threaten CPS! So sorry about your hard day. Sounds like a good normal boy to me.

  38. your neighbor is a total freak! Time for your neighbor to get a life! I can see how Officer Friendly was “just doing his job” by throwing around hefty threats that you and I both know will be unfounded once investigated. They just have to say that they “called on it” but seriously…. you poor thing!

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About Me

What do you get when you cross 34 yrs of living, 14 yrs of marriage, one HOT husband, five adorable daughters, one handsome son, and tons of great family and friends? Pretty much the sum total of who I am!!



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